still not in the mood

Its been 4 days since i last updated my blog.I am okay,insyaallah,just tired and still not in the mood to write.There is so many things i want to write about but just cannot find the mood to do it.Tomorrow Friday,is travel to K.L. day for the races this weekend ,and all flights are full,so its going to be a long drive (PENANG-KL)FRI-SUN.Inyaallah,next week,i will write with what has been bothering my emotions.Whatever it is i am not going to let it get me down,i am thankful to GOD ALMIGHTY that i am still strong in my mind only a little tired.GOD BLESS and AMEEN.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR OF THE OX

Leaving for SLTC CHINESE NEW YEAR MEETING 09.today and will be back on TUESDAY.27TH JAN09.
I take this opportunity,to wish all my Chinese friends,HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR.Let us live in peace and harmony and pray god almighty,insyaallah,that our beloved MALAYSIA AND MALAYSIANS,IRRESPECTIVE OF RACE, CULTURE AND RELIGION LIVE IN PEACE AND PROSPERITY ALWAYS.GOD BLESS AND AMEEN.

tuesday SCAN results

Thank God Almighty,the results was as good as can be,nothing new can be seen from the scan.Now its recovery time insyaallah.all will be well.There is a lot of do's and dont's when you are a CANCER survivor.The treatment according to both ONCOLOGIST are completed and successful.I am happy and relieved but much has happened this last few days that i have no mood to write my blog,hence the delay.I have been running around since TUESDAY 20TH JANUARY 09.driving to Ipoh straight after my scan results to visit a dear dear friend who was injured in a senseless,barbaric attack by unknown assailants.Thank God ,he will recover,purely because GOD protects a good man and he is one of the best i have known in my life,insyaallah he will recover and be back working soon.I pray that he will get over this episode and move on and i promised him that i will be there for him at all times just as he was there for me in my time of need.Insyaallah,God Bless and Ameen.

day trip for pro/am KL.

SATURDAY 17TH JANUARY 09,Got up at 530am and got ready to catch the 8am flight to K.L.Arrived SLTC at 945am and had breakfast with my colleague SLK,at the security chief's office and reported for duty for the day.All went smoothly and returned by the 8pm flight.Arrived home by 10pm.I felt some numbness in my legs maybe due to being on my feet most of the day.A little rest on SUNDAY,will insyaallah,be better.Monday 19th jan09 will be my day at the hospital for a complete CT SCAN. INSYAALLAH there will be nothing to worry about.I am putting on a little extra weight now that my taste buds is slowly but surely coming back to normal.Oh! how nice to taste all the food i enjoyed and miss for the last six months.But now must not get carried away with eating,(control, control).Family and friends, please, keep praying for me and for all in the world so that sufferings can be remove and all be able to live happily and in good health and peace.GOD BLESS AND AMEEN.

NEVER ALONE

Throughout my 6 months of treatment,i never felt alone. My wife INA,was my constant companion and my children was always there whenever needed.My family and close friends also rallied round me, all the time encouraging me.I made many friends in the hospital,most in worst condition than me.We encouraged and prayed for each other.At no time was there racial divide,religious barrier or material distinction.We were just there for each other as human beings in need of support.What happens now,after i had completed my treatment? The question playing constantly in my mind.There is a feeling of relieved,freedom,yet stifled by the fact that with cancer,there are no guarantees.I now feel a desire to lend a support to fellow cancer patients,hence my frequent visits to the hospital even after i had completed my treatment.I hope to be able to to share my experiences of my own battle with fellow patients,so that they too can be encouraged to push on.Appreciation is the key word when battling with any kind of sickness,insyaallah,god almighty will give you the strength to overcome.GOD BLESS AND AMEEN

back from active duties in ipoh

Part of my team another 8 not in the picture including my 2 able assistants.
The Perak Turf Club race track.

Thank GOD Almighty i went back to active duties for the first time after 6 months without any health problems.The treatments side effects did not hinder my working and i was able to finish my assignments satisfactorily insyaALLAH.There were some work related problems concerning my team which resulted in a member of my team being suspended for three months.Its a sad episode for the team but attribute this to work hazard.Whatever the mistake made by this team member is in good faith and we will await his return to the team in APRIL 09 when his suspension ends.GOD BLESS AND AMEEN

MY FAVOURITE QUOTES

Received an interesting email from a friend and could not resist putting up 2 of my favourites.GOD BLESS AND AMEEN

IF ONLY WE CAN TURN BACK THE CLOCK

me 3 years old,many many,many.... moon ago.

As of 26th December 2008, i am no longer being treated for CANCER,and i am ready to move on with my life,INSYAALLAH,completing treatment can be with mixed feelings,stressful,exciting,relieved,happy and anxious.For six months my life has been about hospitals,side effects,scans,xrays,blood test,chemo,radiation,loss of taste,loss of hair,medications, injections,proper diet,fruit juices,vegetables,not sleeping well,stay away from viruses,blood counts,white cells,red cells,doctors, nurses and more cancer patients.All this has become an important part of my life.My body and spirit is tired,it has been a long time during this journey that i could just relax.My body has been assaulted by CANCER and its TREATMENT.My outlook and my whole way of life has changed,at least for a time.I want to believe its over and put it all behind me,but can i?The fear still grips me,but i am determined to live my life to the fullest and make each day as if its my last and enjoy the quality of life and that my mind is strong to think that yes, yes, i can turn back the clock ,INSYAALLAH.GOD BLESS AND AMEEN

BACK FROM IPOH RACES

1O Days without treatment, after 6 months what a big relieve,except for the burn marks on my ear and neck,the peeling of the skin,where radiation was focused,nothing else seems to be bothering me,INSYAALLAH.The taste buds are slowly but surely coming back.i can nearly taste again after six months of forcing to eat to keep the strength.
I remember my first chemo session,staring at the ceiling and trying very hard not to cry.I keep asking how could this have happened?Yet as all other things that happens in life,happens and suddenly it dawns to me its happening to me.CHEMO AND RADIATION the treatment for my kind of illness has instilled in me that COPING WITH LIFE AND UNDERGOING TREATMENT FOR BIG C IS TOUGH TOUGH TOUGH.......AND ONE GOTTA FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT........ALL THIS TIME NOT FORGETTING IT CAN TAKE AWAY MY TASTE,MY HAIR,MY PHYSICAL WELLNESS,MY MOOD BUT ONE THING I WAS DETERMINED NOT TO LET IT TAKE AWAY WAS MY MIND and thank the almighty and insyaallah i managed to hang on to it.
I set out on a six month course of treatment as explained by my oncologist DR K.W. LEONG .I started to write to take away some pain.Little did i know that my blog,intended to keep family and friends informed would find new friends,family that i never knew exist and readers all across the country and even the world.My journey became our journey with treatment ending on boxing day 08.Insyaallah,2009 starts a new chapter in my book of life and the pages be filled with good things.GOD BLESS AND AMEEN.

FEELING PHILOSOPHICAL AGAIN

With the new year,i am feeling philosophical again.Whilst fighting my illness,i learned that when i am awake in the morning i am thankful to the almighty and that if i didn't learn a lot before i sleep,at least i learned a little, if i am already sick at least i am still alive,so i am thankful.Do not overrate what you have received nor envy others.He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind.Words have the power to both destroy and heal.When words are both true and kind, they can change our world.Do not dwell in the past,do not dream of the future,concentrate the mind on the present moment.Use and train the mind to get what you want, instead of letting the mind to use you to get what the mind wants.THINK ABOUT IT......INSYAALLAH, GOD BLESS AND AMEEN

12.01a.m 1st jan 2009

Me at gurney drive the time 12.01 am 1st Jan 2009

Ushering in 2009 at gurney drive was quite an experience,with the crowd all seem to be happy to let go of 2008,none as happy as me as 2008 has been a difficult year for me fighting my illness with CHEMOTHERAPY AND RADIATION.THE ILLNESS HAS MADE ME STRONGER,the path was long WITH DARK TUNNELS AND OBSTACLES,but i walked it with a song,there were fears and tears but i had reasons for cheers,like when the chemo finished,then the radiation finished,all this I THANK THE ALMIGHTY FOR THE STRENGTH.for now its recovery time and 2009 will see INSYAALLAH a healthy me.For my families and friends who prayed for my recovery all i can say is NEW YEAR COMES AND GO,PIECES OF TIME ALL IN A ROW,AS I LIVED EVERY SECOND AND MINUTE,I KNOW I AM PRIVILEGED TO HAVE YOU IN IT,MY APPRECIATION NEVER ENDS,FOR MY GREATEST BLESSINGS IS KNOWING YOU IN MY LIFE,GOD BLESS AND AMEEN