4th CHEMO 21ST OCT 08 PRAY GOD ITS THE LAST CYCLE

In my favourite chair at the CHEMO lounge.

Today according to Dr.KW LEONG,will be my 4th and last chemo b4 the radiation starts and of course depending on the PETSCAN results scheduled on the 6th nov 08. I am actually updating my blog whilst receiving the chemo so i guess its sort of live telecast.Feeling a little tired and can feel a short nap coming up as i can hardly open my eyes now. Last night around 8pm received a call from IPOH that my GRANDSON, AREEZ ADIB was admitted to the specialist centre Ipoh with high fever. I then told INA my dear wife to get ready as we can go and comeback, left penang at 930pm and was home by2am. I am happy that i went to see my grandson as i rather see for myself his condition.INSYAALLAH, there is no danger just fever and virus. Its now 1030am and expected to finish by 6pm.Family and friends we will make it to the finishing line insyaallah .ameen.

LATEST UPDATE AFTER BLOOD TEST

Went to see DR LEONG,and had the bloodtest done at 945am,results just came in now and its holding at acceptable level for a CHEMO patient.I was concerned with the gum infection and the lumps at the back of my shoulder and my back near the waist that suddenly appear to be noticeable.Dr Leong checked the lump with a strange looking device which needed the lights to be switched off.Bottom line is 4th and final CHEMO 2 moro at 830am to 4pm is on and then a PET SCAN at WIJAYA medical centre in KL is scheduled for 6th nov 08 at 930am .PETSCAN is always a worry because it will tell if the cancer cells are still active or not and it will show the area.So you see its like waiting for your death sentence. For now its the chair in the picture above ,the middle one booked for 830am 2moro then the roller coaster ride for 3 weeks and then with GOD'S GRACE AND INSYALLAAH, the final stage of the olympics of life with the gold medal up for grabs after the radiation therapy completed in another 5 to 6 weeks.All said and done the journey is getting nearer and i still need to stay focus with the fight,no matter how tired i am with so many of my families and friends praying and giving me encouragements and most important my darling wife INA still my tower of strength and i love her very much and together we will see it thru.GOD WILLING.

2Hrs b4 race one sunday at KL
LOOKING OUT MY BALCONY early hrs of the monday morning




I am a very tired man tired of the yoyo feeling of CHEMO, tired of the side effects,tired of having no taste ,tired of the pain in the gums,tired of taking medications,tired of the blood tests,tired of 8 hrs of CHEMO,tired of the next treatment of 5days radiation for 5 to 6 weeks,tired of worrying if the cancer is gone or coming back or ?????????,questions i asked myself on waking up.Iam tired of the word CANCER 24 HRS A DAY.That's why i put up the image from my balcony just looking out and wondering the peace,tranquility and the stillness before the breaking of dawn.Its so peaceful,the only thing that is not calm and peaceful is my emotions and the games my mind is playing,a good part of me says ok that's enough,enough of treatment enough of pain enough of side effects enough enough enough come what may i am not going back to the hospital,not going for the bloodtest,not going for the final CHEMO,NOT GOING FOR THE RADIATION.I am tired,it must be the pain i have in my gums,cramps in my leg and the sensitive attitude that comes with being sick with a serious illness.I need to focus and return to fighting mode b4 i lose the will to fight on.Have you ever ran the marathons? (My Boss David MCgillivray has ran the COMRADES MARATHONS IN SOUTH AFRICA)where you start full of spirits,strength and vigour,then as you go the will starts to dissapear and as it gets closer to the final leg you feel you want to give up because the finishing line is so near but so far and you muster the last once of energy to try and complete then its no more physical strength and your mind takes over and plays merry hell,then you start praying and you turn to your loved ones and your friends and see them urging you on then you asked yourself the big question shall i go on ? I now recollect my boss words of his fight to finish the marathon and i try to remain calm and gather my thoughts and try to focus. PRAY FOR ME ,I NEED THE STRENGTH..ITS NOT EASY ITS NOT EASY AND ITS NOT EASY. its war killed or to be killed,any other words besides fight, survival, can quality of remaining life be a substitute.For the time being i must focus focus insyaallah. GOD WILLING .

SATURDAY AFTER THE RACES AT KL

Usually i am very punctual with updating my blog for my family and friends to know the latest and also it acts as a journal for me.The last 2 days has been some sort of eventful and soul searching for me. I actually found peace within myself emotionally and with GOD.INSYAALLAH,I now know what is meant with the words often spoken GOD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS.How true this words are and for the time being i am not prepared to elaborate.I have been reading up on my illness and acquiring new information about it. My feeling and well being reflects my new found knowledge. I will be going thru my final CHEMO cycle,according to DR KW LEONG my oncologist on the 21st OCT 08 5 days b4 my birthday (meaning 12 weeks of poisoning my body to hopefully cure the illness and in the process also killing the good cells) All i can tell you ITS NOT EASY.ITS NOT EASY AND ITS NOT EASY.but like i say there are worst pain and sorrow being felt by many all over the world and life goes on. I PRAY GOD AND LETS ALL JOIN IN AND PRAY GOD TO REMOVE SORROW AND PAIN FOR ALL ON GOD'S EARTH INSYAALLAH AMEN.

BORING THURSDAY 1DAY B4 GOING TO KLRACES

I love this picture sort of give me added strength.

2day is a lazy day.Well rested and did a lot of reading and catching up on news about everything. 2moro will be travelling day. According to my personal assistant,driver,cook,nurse INA,also my darling wife, my pillar of strength all rolled into one, all bookings of flights,hotels,medications and taxis has been booked and arranged.Thank God 4bringing INA into my life. I would like to share this words of wisdom,(my memory was jogged reading a cancer blog today)words, i used to say and still strongly believe, 4awareness when i was actively involved in CHARITY AUCTIONS to raise funds for the underprivileged and the special people, using it as my intro, and it goes like this............
(1)Do not cry if you dont have a pair of shoes,for there are others who may not have a foot
(2)Do not whine if you do not have a car to drive, for there are others who may not have legs to walk
(3)Do not complain if you have been diagnosed with a serious illness,for there are others who have died without a chance to say goodbye
The moral of all this words of wisdom is count your blessings and thank god for his mercy.INSYAALLAH.god bless.

VISIT FROM CLOSE FAMILY FRIENDS.

(LtoR)Burhan,Farah,Me and the 2 grandchild.










Last night had a visit from Burhan and family.Burhan better known as sir Burhan to all his many students that includes my wife INA,and now my son Mohd Joshua.I was happy to see both his daughters FARAH and SYAFINAZ again. Both, very strong individuals and computer savvy resulting in the nice photos. I was able to relate most of my feelings about my illness to FARAH and SYAFINAZ which was indeed therapeutic.Insyaallah,i will continue to fight with the support from family and friends.GOD BLESS AMEEN.

TUESDAY BARRIER TRIALS DAY

Me with Devaraj
Devaraj helping with the start of trial3


Tuesday mornings are always busy. Today is no exception. I am glad that, after showing the finer points of starting for the last 2 years to my colleague ASST COMMENTATOR, DEVARAJ, he is now able to assist me in the morning trials. Going into the 3rd week of cycle three CHEMO,i THANK GOD that i am able to carry out my duties for trackwork and attend race meetings, insyaallah. The next will be the fourth and final CHEMO cycle starting on 21st Oct 08, then its RADIATION time. So far so good Friends and family please dont stop the prayers and encouragements.The journey is still long but getting nearer each day with god's speed.insyaallah,GOD BLESS AMEEN.

MY SON M.J.PMR EXAM STARTS 2DAY

Me and my son MJ

Today my son MJ will be sitting for his PMR exam and the first step to achieving his academic track record.Insyaallah,pray god he will face the exam with 100% commitment.On the way to school this morning, i am glad he realised that 3 years ago when i told him this day will come and that time waits for no one has become reality. You only have one chance in life.I thank god i am still alive to see and be with him on this important day in his young life and insyaallah for many more years to come.ameen.

BACK HOME FROM KL RACES.

1hr b4 race1 at SLTC

My aunty LALOM,My daughter, my grandchildren and INA.

This morning before going to work i had a pleasant visit from my mom's sister aunty lalom,who saw me for the first time since my illness,and as usual she is so very supportive and said prayers for my speedy recovery,insyaallah and was also happy to see my darling daughter (GIRL),and my grandkids MAMAT AND NURIN.My son (BOY),came the night before but i was too tired to take photos. After the races went to the airport for the 8.20 flight and alhamdullilah reached home safe and sound.A bit tired but tolerable.Tried to take some chicken curry as it looked good but bad mistake it was hot hot hot.Rest day 2moro.insyaallah.GOD BLESS.

THE KL RACES TRIP

Me with Bulldog Kuan(a legend in motorbike racing)

Today going to the KL races was indeed a pleasure.I was up early and ready to leave for the airport with my good wife INA. After the norm of checking in and boarding the 1215 afternoon flight i was pleasantly surprised to see BULLDOG KUAN a household name in the motorbike racing here.He is still very active even in his seventies,and is now the President of the Penang Motor Sports Club. There was so much to catch up with this legend who in his prime was always linked with the KAWASAKI racing bikes.Being from Penang we know each other well.What a lot of people may not know is that being of small frame he was jockey material,in fact he was offered to be a jockey in those days by then Trainer W. BAGBY.and i am sure he would have been just as great. Why the name BULLDOG KUAN,its a long story which is very interesting,maybe if you are in Penang you can drop by his famous motorbike shop in YORK ROAD or ask anyone living in Penang and they will direct you,and you can ask him. For what he has achieved a DATUKSHIP is definately a fitting award to this LEGEND.My trip to KL this time even in my illness and feeling a little tired was indeed a memorable one meeting up with Bulldog Kwan after not seeing each other for a longtime as i used to hangout during the 70's at my cousin's house next to his motorshop. Now 2 of his sons are involved in motorbike racing and i wish them all the best and may you both lived up to the name of BULLDOG KUAN,GOD BLESS AMEEN.

THURSDAY ONE DAY BEFORE GOING TO WORK IN KL.FOR RACES

Today is better than yesterday and finally was able to hear from DR KW LEONG about his careful treatment plan and THANK GOD,INSYAALLAH,the long journey thru the dark tunnel is nearing the other side with god speed.How quickly time flies. I am into my 3rd CHEMO (2nd week)and only one more to go.For my own records and my family and friends i list below my treatment plan.
18TH AUG 08 -------- 1st CHEMO
08TH SEPT 08-------- 2ND CHEMO
30TH SEPT 08-------- 3RD CHEMO
21ST OCT 08--------- 4TH CHEMO INSYAALLAH THE FINAL ONE (HOORAY NO MORE ROLLER COASTER RIDE) Then a new ride(hopefully its a smaller roller coaster) RADIATION STARTS AFTER 2 WEEKS REST.RADIATION IS DONE AT THE MOUNT MIRIAM HOSPITAL PENANG. SCHEDULED TO START ON THE 24TH NOVEMBER 08.it will be everyday MONDAY TO FRIDAY (5 TIMES A WEEK FOR 6 WEEKS) It will be over just about the first week of the new year 2009.insyaallah Then its wait and takes things as they come insyaallah i will be back to full strength and i am now reading up on radiation and after going thru CHEMO nothing can be worse.insyaallah.FAMILY AND FRIENDS the battle is not over yet keep the prayers going and the encouragements coming so that after the journey i will personally thank each and everyone of you for being there for me.insyaallah GOD BLESS.

BLOOD TEST DAY

It's a lot like being trapped on a roller coaster. A really good one with lots of twists and turns and huge drops — the kind that make your stomach turn over. "It," in this case, is life with cancer. And the chemo makes your stomach turn over, too, but that's a different issue.
In some ways, the life of a cancer patient becomes predictable. You learn the rhythm of the chemo. The first day, eight hours hooked up to a machine pumping poison into your arm — that's the start of the cycle. The third day, that's the first big drop on this ride. That's when the side effects hit hard. The nausea in the morning that you just have to fight through. The fatigue and so on.
And then it gets better over the next couple of days. The second week is easier, and the 3rd week off? That's a little bit of heaven.
As much as the twists and turns of this ride affect you physically, the ups and downs play havoc with your emotions, too. You look for hope where you can find it. You brace yourself for bad news. But when it comes, it still hits harder than you were prepared for.
When you can, you smile and reassure everyone in your life that the ride isn't too bad. Other times you can only admit that that last drop really got to you.
After a while, you forget what it was like to not be on the ride — that life on solid ground is over, at least for now. Your ticket is for a truly wild ride, and there's really no way to get off.Then, you think of all your family and friends praying for you and giving encouragements,suddenly,STRENGTH appears out of nowhere and you get that surge to fight on, get off the roller coaster and look for that solid ground that you once walk. INYSAALLAH GOD BLESS AMEEN.

7TH OCT 08 TUESDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY INA

Today is my dear wife's birthday, she has taken the day off from cooking and taking me to the doctor.She has been my tower of strength and without her it would be an uphill battle for me during my illness. The road is still long but with her by my side i am sure we will reach the destination faster, insyaallah. I love you INA with all of my heart always.

monday booster jab

Today went over to get my booster jab at the 4th floor of GLENEAGLES HOSPITAL PENANG. It never fails to amaze me, the hospital is always full of people. Car park all taken up and i thought i was one of the early birds. The injection itself took less than 5 minutes but the waiting for the car park and other formalities took about 2 hrs. Anyway i was in no hurry and was able to rest at the 4th floor lounge and catch up with other patients who since have become my friends. I pray for their speedy recovery INSYAALLAH at the same time reminding them and myself to be strong. Will have a rest today being my off workday and start fresh 2moro for the usual busy Tuesday morning work. GOD BLESS AMEEN.

SUNDAY MORNING

My son MOHD JOSHUA riding ASTRAPHY in monthly DRESSAGE competition 5th oct

Today was no better than yesterday,felt very tired and drained of energy but pulled myself out of bed and got ready to go to the EQUESTRIAN CENTRE to see my son ride at 8am.Thank God all went well and i was told later that he won and that puts a smile on me and lifted my feelings and spirit a little.So i am back home to update my posting and get some rest.INSYAALLAH Today will be a better day.God bless ameen

today the most difficult of all

After going thru 3 cycles of Chemo, today is the most uncomfortable and difficult of all.There is just no appetite,no taste at all for food or water,and starting to feel tired easily.I pray that 2moro be a different day as i am going to bed early and hope insyaallah,it will be better .FAMILY AND FRIENDS PRAY FOR ME,not to give up the fight. pray 2moro is a better day.GOD BLESS AMEEN

A VISIT FROM NEW FRIENDS

Pearly,Chandra,me,Ina

Pearly Kee who started the website MY-ISLAND-PENANG,a true blue penangite and loves the pearl of the orient genuinely, came to know of my blog while surfing the net,and was very interested to know more about the NOORDIN family and their HISTORICAL involvement with the MASJID KEPITAN KELING.I was very happy to have met them today and promised to have another meeting to come up with some historical details with photos so that heritage and history can be preserved.Now with this new project on my mind will indeed help in my recovery from illness.Thank God for modern technology with a press of a button you can achieve a lot.God Bless and ameen.

2nd day raya guest morning till night

chief stipe (the boss)David McGillivray






soo lai kwok deputy chief stipe





Had a pleasant surprise visit.My boss and his deputy came at 1130am and since its penang races today and i am not working,so it was good to see them at my home and i was truly happy that David McGillivray who has been there for me every inch of my journey through the dark tunnel from the start came for a visit and the call from him at the aiport in the evening before going back to KL,was special and meaningful coming from a boss,a friend and a family all roll into one.I am indeed honoured to serve under you, sir.



(L to r)rose,ina,tommy,mak,me,peggy,peter.


Peggy my cousin from australia and me(her late mother was my father's sister)


Tommy my brother and me







There were endless stream of guests.We had families from Balik Pulau,my cousin PEGGY and friend PETER from AUSTRALIA, my martial arts(silat) students and senior instructors who have been with me for 30 years came from different states in malaysia,the racing fraternity and lots of other friends totalling about 200 people and i must mentioned my brother tommy who has given me courage with his love and affections. Last person left at 11pm. I am so very tired but very very happy to see all of them. Really make my day and gives me added strength to win this battle with my illness,the road to recovery seems to have god's speed. INSYAALLAH AND GOD BLESS.AMEEN.

HARI RAYA TRADITION

(l to r) ina,mak,mohd joshua,me
mak and me
Ina and me
mj and me








Its been a NOORDIN family tradition and for me it was started by my late father that after raya prayers the family living in the same house will have breakfast together than its asking for forgiveness time and the oldest gets the honours followed by the next senior and so on till the youngest has done the rounds and then family photos.I only visited 3 houses like always that is my mother in law ,my best friend in glugor pg,and my brother's house in island glades. and as in previous years 2moro the second day raya my house will be full with family and friends and my martial arts silat students and the senior silat instructors as during my young days i was very active in silat and that explains my blog main picture of me in my full uniform with a full MAHTA (highest dressing) and red bengkong and a black sash( highest sash that can be given in silat.)This part of my life not many people know.I am thankful to god almighty that i am still alive and tolerating my treatment insyaallah the road to recovery is coming along fine with all the doa and prayers by family and friends.I HAVE NO TASTE WHATSOVER,BUT I STILL EAT TO GET MY STRENGTH,THE CRAMPS STILL COME AND GO BUT THANK GOD I AM STILL WALKING AND DRIVING AND TOLERATING WELL.Oh yes our 1st visitors were family from KL my uncle syed and auntie majmim,mums sister and brother in law and their children and granchildren but i was so engrossed in talking with them and have forgotten to take any photos.2moro i must not forget to take photos so that i can post my updates with photos because then memories will be more meaningful as the saying goes a picture paints a thousand words.ameem.

HARI RAYA DAY 2008

Today i am given the best HARI RAYA GIFT i could asked for and that is to be mentioned in my favourite site that i follow no matter how busy or tired i am,and that is http:// mahaguru58@blogspot.com A simple islamic preacher whose site is easily absorbed by me and my family and i am sure for many others following the blog. On this special day my family and i would like to take this oppurtunity to thank him for all the doa and encouragements he has given to me in my times of illness although i have not met him personally but i can feel the closeness and the warmness of this great man worthy of the blog name he uses MAHAGURU 58.Insyaallah the almighty god will give him the strength to keep writing and enlightening the simple knowledge about our religion so that in the computer age there is still a place one can keep on learning and prepare oneself for the present temporary world and the permanent after world,insyaallah,ameen.