2nd CHEMO and the fight continues.

Today the 8th sept 08 at 8.30 a.m. i was already at the doorstep of Dr KW Leong clinic at the Glenegles Hosp.Pg.Had a 15 mins updating and examination,i then took my usual CHEMO chair by the window of the 4th floor.An I.V. line was fixed on my left hand above my wrist by Dr Leong.Then the process of chemo started at 9.30 a.m. and after 8 hrs of chemo i was finally allowed to go home at 6 p.m.During that 8 hrs the nurses at the Hemothology section were very helpful and kind the names of which i will eventually get on my next visit which is on Thurs the 11 sept 08 for my blood test.Besides my wife and son Joshua,my brother K.M. Noordin came to see me.I pray ALLAH S.W.T. that my 2nd cycle would not bring much suprises and be the same as the 1st which only affected my tastebuds,the occasional pain,cramps and the loss of hair which would not affect me much this time as there are not much hair left to lose.So far i am able still to work my normal routine but with the approval of my boss and good friend to do light work.I will be updating my 2nd chemo from time to time.I still know its a long road and a battle thats no turning back till u see the light at the end of the tunnel.My friends dont stop praying for me.

THE DAY B4 2ND CHEMO(7TH SEPT08)

Its a sunday a day b4 chemo no2 and 90% of my hair is gone, I miss seeing the old me in the mirror but thank allahswt that i am still strong physically and emotionally.Sleep have been more difficult last night with knowing chemo starts in less than 24hrs and the surprises the 2nd chemo going to give your guess is as good as mine. I pray god that it will be the same as the first because eating and drinking tasteless is bearable and as for hairdropping well theres not much more to drop. Next week will be travelling 4 the KL races and still deciding to drive or take the flight. i am trying to imagine on the flight with a mask to protect against any viral infection and those people who not know you on CHEMO might look at you with caution thinking all sorts of things but you cant blame them with so much going on nowadays.Its going to be a long week i am sure but as i write this i am also reminding myself once you are in the tunnel theres no turning back and but to keep going till you see the light and for me its the longest tunnel in the world.Till i write again next week to all muslim friends selamat berpuasa di bulan ramadan and to all other friends have a good weekend and to all my friends dont stop praying for me to give me strength and rid this illness from me GOD BLESS.

CHEMO IS WORKING

It started on the 16th day after the 1st cycle of CHEMOTHERAPY, got up in the morning as usual at 5am for prayers and get ready for trackwork there was hairdrops all over my pillow and i looked at the mirror and saw someone that looks like me only without much hair.there were bald patches here and there and nothing in my power could stop the hair from falling, a simple brush with the fingers would leave a clump of hair in my hands. I felt sad,hurt,angry and a dent in my pride,my whole outlook that i see for 50 0ver years changed overnight.So after crying my heart out in silence so that my wife and son whom has been so strong would not know ,i decided to ignore all this and still thank my lucky stars and thank god that i still am better off than millions of others and i still pray god to remove sufferings from everybody and only shed a little tear to my good friend at work and get on with life. just reminding myself next CHEMO 8TH SEPT. WHAT WILL BE COMING NEXT .........Anyway i will fight and fight and come out of the tunnel and see the light and say i did it and so can you.

THE FIGHT WITH CANCER

Very quickly i became an expert on CANCER radiation ,chemotherapy,the side effects,what to eat,what vitamins ,what enzymes,what fruit juices,what veggies,you name it i know about it.The battle begins
,STARTERS UP,the race to survival is now starting,its time for test blood test MRI,CTSCAN,COLONOSCOPE,ENDOSCOPE,PET SCAN,RADIATION MASK,XRAYS,BIOPSY OF TISSUES,a bite here ,a bite there as the surgeons put it,i went thru it all then the radiation mask,i felt like zorro using the mask then the team headed by my oncologist Dr leong a very strong minded and learned doctor start planning my treatment plan and decisions had to be made as advice came from all corners some say alternative medication,some say accupuncture,some say go to china,some say go to mecca,india,singapore,australia,i know they all meant well so finally i decided thru i think by divine intervention to trust and have faith in my onlogist DR KW LEONG.One thing i know is that if you go thru a tunnel theres no way out but to go thruit and wait for the light at the end of it and in my case i will fight every inch of the way and GOD WILLING INSYAALLAH,and with family and good friends i will be able to fight and win this fight with cancer.I started chemo on the 18th august 08 with a mixture of CISPLATIN AND TAXOTERE, a three weekly 4 to 6 times meaning maybe up to 18 weeks and a radiation treatment of 5 day week of 6 times meaning 30 dose of radiation.At the time of writing i am into my 3rd week of cycle one and holding even though my tastebuds is gone the food looks good but taste horrible metalic and plain water taste like its coming from the fish tank and hair drops alot soon i will be a bald headed male model,pain comes and goes sleep is difficult, but then again i thank god i am still much better than millions of others i pray god to end all kinds of sufferings and i promised DR LEONG.i will help and contribute to helping CANCER patients whenever needed , Dont stop praying for me to give me strength to keep fighting and beat this cancer so that many more cancer people will also fight and win until they find the cure and rid of the the illness called CANCER, till i write again on the treatment and progress thank you all whom have help and prayed for me, I will remember all of you till the day they take me away from all of you. GOD BLESS

GREATEST BATTLE OF MY LIFE

10 days after removing a lump on the right side of my neck by my ENT surgeon i was shattered, the word poorly differenciated carcinoma in short CANCER, the big C, sounded like being hit by a ten ton lorry and your body smashed to pieces.Thank God my wife SARINA was at my side.She is indeed a tower of strenght for me.We had to put up a brave front when we finally reached home.I had to gently break the news to all my children, my mother,my brother Tommy,my boss and my good friend David Mcgillivray,they all took the news calmly except my youngest son Joshua who was alittle teary eyed.I must be honest in the privacy of my room i cried my heart out and almost hysterical,and was at different stages emotionally eg.1)DENIAL...i am having a bad dream.2)ANGER....why me why not the murderer,the rapist,the drug seller and why not the real bad people in the world.BARGAINING......maybe they sent the wrong samples which got mixed up 4)DEPRESSION......my god iam going to die.5)ACCEPTANCE......what to do but fight and fight.(PART 2WILL CONTINUE)

MERDEKA MERDEKA MERDEKA

MALAYSIA KITA SUDAH MERDEKA, and I am proud to say being Malaysian I feel MERDEKA. Heaven on earth is best described for our beloved Malaysia. We live in a harmonious,safe,up to date country with all Malaysians able to practise their religion without fear or favour,send our young ones to schools,get good medical facilities,good highways network,no natural disasters looming over our heads,no communications problems and to sum it up, whatever the best the world can offer in terms of anything we in Malaysia is not deprived.Sure there is the rich, the not so rich,the not so poor and the poor but all said and done there is no death of hunger, malnutrition or death due to being exposed to not having shelter. Yes fellow Malaysians we are a lucky lot and importantly MERDEKA MALAYSIANS. So let's stop playing politics,election's over, let's get on with working towards improving an already happy Malaysia and work hand in hand, government and opposition, and stop pointing fingers. And Malaysians, if politicians want to hold any political rally from now on, boycott them don't go if they have anything to say come to us, visit us or through the available media or the net. STOP talking and start working, and don't destroy our heaven on earth or you might just find the wrath of the RAKYAT MALAYSIA YANG MERDEKA. MERDEKA MERDEKA MERDEKA.HIDUP MALAYSIA FOR ALL MALAYSIANS.MALAYSIA TANAH TUMPAH DARAH KU.

I NEVER THOUGHT THAT THE WORD CANCER WOULD ONE DAY CHANGE MY LIFE.(FULL STORY TO COME)

My son Josh on Red Pegasus at his uncle Trainer KM Noordin(tommy)stables.

Enough is enough. We the rakyat is fed up of politicians elected by the rakyat acting like kids in kindergarden. Rakyat Malaysia whether Malays,Chinese, Indians, others, or BN, PKR, DAP, PAS members are all living in total harmony. Our children are all going to the same school all over Malaysia, we work in the same office, we go to the same supermarket, same wet market, same shopping complexes, enjoy each other's friendship, live in multi racial neighbourhood, no problem whatsoever. So, politicians stop the nonsense of dividing the rakyat. Mr PM, you are our main leader. Call all reps from all parties and then you appoint a task force comprising BN DAP, PAS and PKR to try and look into how we can help the rakyat to brace or improve the economic downturn the world is now experiencing. I think only then can the politicians stop being childish and start to be an elected rep of the rakyat. We are after all MALAYSIANS tanah tumpah darah ku. Put aside all evil thoughts and work together for a better MALAYSIA. Come on PAK LAH, we know you can do it, satukan rakyat Malaysia!

An open letter to Malaysian politicians.
Malaysians and by that I mean the rakyat is fedup and tired of hearing you politicians bad mouthing one another instead of running the country and helping the rakyat to live in harmony and enjoy the heaven on earth our country Malaysia.Stop being heroes and satisfying egos and destroying the very democratic privilege given to Malaysians since our independence. I salute our PM for allowing freedom of speech and alternative media like the net without restriction. But Pak Lah, things are getting out of hand, it's time you put your foot down and stop all accusations and uncalled for remarks by the YBs and summon them all for a round table talk and then form a team to tackle the economic crisis facing us and the world. Let's get serious, the election is over now let's run the country.The rakyat has spoken through the democratic process during the election, accept it and work together for the betterment of Malaysia. Why must action by politicians be known from the party and not from Malaysians. Do not forget whatever action or talk by YBs must be for the benefit of the rakyat and the dignity of our country Malaysia.Imagine that BN, DAP, PKR, PAS and others get together and put self power aside and work for Malaysia. 'United we stand divided we fall' should be the order of the day and not who is going to be PM or minister.Malaysia and Malaysians must come first otherwise all that is built will be destroyed. Stop and take stock of yourselves politicians, if you cannot help Malaysians please resign, remember we put you there and don't make us angry because the next election you won't be around, we will make sure.Lastly again, Pak Lah you are our main leader, make them stop and concentrate on our beloved TANAH TUMPAH DARAH KU MALAYSIA, HIDUP MALAYSIA HIDUP RAKYAT, MALAYSIANS LIVE IN HARMONY, POLITICIANS DON'T DIVIDE US.IT'S SINFUL TO CREATE PROBLEMS FOR OUR PEACEFUL HARMONIOUS MALAYSIA.

politicians take note please

Concerted effort is needed to resolve problems faced by the nation such as decaying morals and education of our young ones, the lack of medical facilities in government hospitals to treat cancer, AIDS and other serious illnesses, the rising prices of petrol and commodities, public transportation and the high accident rate on highways. There must be a way to cut down road accidents during holidays, like limiting heavy vehicles to late hours only and banning them from moving during the daytime. No use in having Ops Hari Raya when you find not a single police car along the highways. The problem is there is no cooperation among the leaders. Many of these problems can be solved if the politicians sit down and work together as Malaysians and not as political parties. The opposition and the government should stop blaming each other and show the world Malaysians are united and make Malaysia a model country where the government and opposition can work together as one and Think Malaysians. Malaysia Tanah Tumpah Darah Ku. And remember our national anthem Negara Ku. Malaysia is for all Malays, Chinese, Indians, Kadazans, Muruts and Bidayuhs. As long as you are born in Malaysian soil, it belongs to you. Let’s live and die for Malaysia. If the politicians, whoever they are, do not Think Malaysians, we the rakyat have got the voting power to get rid of him or her in the next elections. The rakyat is the deciding factor. Don’t all of us forget it.

just thinking

To all opposition politicians: What's wrong with our beloved nation? There's absolutely nothing wrong with Malaysia as we the rakyat live in perfect harmony. We thought maybe the balance of power as a result of the last general election could help provide for better governance and bring benefits to the rakyat. But now we find opposition politicians want to be heroes and upset the peace and stability in Malaysia. Stop it, work together and stop playing up racial and religious sentiments. Don't make the rakyat angry, or next election, you will be out!

my letter

I appeal to YAB PM, please consider putting up taxes for liquor and cigarettes to a very maximum as this is totally a luxury the rakyat can do without. Let the drinkers and smokers pay through their noses if they want to drink and smoke. If you make it expensive for the drinkers, maybe there will be less drunk driving and the smokers will think twice to buy a packet of cigarettes. Maybe this will help build a healthy Malaysia. Put the extra income to build more hospitals and schools for the rakyat in Malaysia, both peninsular Malaysia, Sabah and Sarawak, I mean all states, opposition held or Barisan held. Stop buying warships, fighter jets and weapons. We are not going to war or in danger of being attacked. What we have is plenty, and enough of going to space or the moon etc. Money saved can be put to better use instead of raising petrol prices. Thank you, YAB PM.

my thoughts

I am a Malaysian and an unhappy one. Why, because I see so much hatred but not amongst the rakyat but by the rakyat-elected so-called yang berhormats.The not unified mentality is coming from politicians. Stop the bickering and uncalled for comments before the situation worsens. Stop it YBs or you will have to live with the fact that you destroyed MALAYSIA. PAKLAH, be firm, be strong, unite the YBs. STOP STOP BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.