BEWARE.

CAUTION ALL PERSONAL PHOTOGRAPHS ARE EMBEDED WITH TRACKING DEVICE PLEASE DO NOT COPY AND RISK BEING EXPOSED TO GERMS AND DESTROYING YOUR COMPUTER/HANDPHONE.BY ORDER OF ME THE OWNER OF THE BLOG AND PHOTOS.THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING THE NOTICE.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

PHOTOS HORSESHOW 2011

INA PROUD MUM


ME NEXT TO THE FLYING PHOENIX THE WOODEN MECHANICAL HORSE

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

MOHD JOSHUA'S 2011 PNTC HORSE SHOW POSTERS ON DISPLAY

Mohd Joshua's posters on display during the PNTC HORSE SHOW 2011.






My son Mohd Joshua will start the competition on Thursday 1st December 2011-to- 4th Dec 2011 with a total of 9 events 6 SHOW JUMPING INCLUDING(YOUNG RIDERS TROPHY)AND 3 DRESSAGE.He be riding BERTIE AND ROCKET. Insyaallah will update with good news.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Wedding at KL my nephew in law.

Granma and Adib at our room in holiday villa,cucu engrossed with IPAD.note Adib stayed with us.

A chance to catch up with KL son/daughter in law Yuli and daughter Zarina with grandchildren Nurin AND Eryzal.

Family with bride/groom

Thursday, November 24, 2011

SHARING IS CARING




DEAR FAMILY AND FRIENDS I CAME ACROSS THIS BRILLIANT PIECE OF WRITING BY BRONNIE WARE AND I THOUGHT ITS BEST I SHARE IT WITH ALL.INSYAALLAH IT BRINGS AWARENESS TO ALL... "We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have."
Give these some deep thoughts......don't leave it till too late.



BY BRONNIE WARE

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.
People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learned never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.
When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me
This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. It is very important to try and honor at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn't work so hard
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence. By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends
Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying. It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying. Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

PNTC HORSE SHOW 1st to 4th Dec 2011

THE STAR METRO 23/11/11 JOSHUA'S PICTURE AS INTRODUCTION HEADLINE TO THE PNTC EQUESTRIAN HORSE SHOW.



ITS TIME OF THE YEAR AGAIN WHEN PNTC EQUESTRIAN HOLDS ITS HORSE SHOW AND ITS FUN FUN FUN FOR ALL.MACAM MACAM ADA PONY RIDES,FACE PAINTING BALLOON SCULPTURE, SNAKEMAN SHOW,PUPPET SHOW, CARNIVAL EVENTS AND EXPO,CARRIAGE RIDES,SOUVENIRS AND NOT FORGETTING THE SHOW JUMPING AND DRESSAGE COMPETITIONS INCLUDING PONY GAMES.
SCHOOL HOLIDAY FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY,A GALLOPING GOOD TIME FOR KIDS AND BEST OF ALL ADMISSION IS FREE.EQUESTRIAN COMPETITIONS STARTS 2ND DEC TO 4TH DEC,AT MAIN ARENA.ALL ARE WELCOME.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

20112011 (20th November 2011)

OLD BLACK AND WHITE TV SET.
HOW TIME FLIES..

TO ALL FAMILY AND FRIENDS ON THIS SIGNIFICANT DATE I WANT TO SHARE WITH YOU ALL WHAT I CALL AN IMPORTANT 5 SHORT CHAPTER OF LIFE,HOPEFULLY WE ALL HAVE BEEN THROUGH AND EXPERIENCED CHAPTER 1 TO 3 AND NOW WE ARE WELL AND TRULY ON THE WAY INTO CHAPTER 4 AND 5. INSYAALLAH.

Five Short Chapters

Chapter I
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in
I am lost . . . I am helpless
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter II
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter III
I walk down the same street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in . . . it’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter IV
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter V
I walk down another street.

Friday, November 18, 2011

FEELING JOVIAL AND TIME TO LOL



OK SO NOW YOU HAVE LOL NOW WHICH ONE ARE YOU AND WHICH ONE DO YOU WANT YOUR KIDS TO BE?THINK ABOUT IT AS FOR ME THE 1ST 3 WILL DO I DON'T MIND,PRAY GOD NOT THE LAST ONE INSYAALLAH

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

SHARING WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS

Burnt biscuits shows the way.


Hello, to all my family and friends,i am getting that philosophical urge again and hence would like to share this n3 with all of you

When I was a kid, my Mum liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now & then & I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my Mum placed a plate of eggs, sausage, and extremely burned biscuits in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my Mum and ask me how my day was at school.

I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember hearing my Mum apologize to my dad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what he said: "Honey, I love burned biscuits."

Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, "Your momma put in a long hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides... A burnt biscuit never hurt anyone!"
I'm not the best at hardly anything, and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like everyone else. What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each others faults and choosing to celebrate each other’s differences, is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.

So...please pass me a biscuit. And yes, the burned one will do just fine!
Life is too short to wake up with regrets.
You know, life is full of imperfect things... And imperfect people. Love the people who treat you right and forget about the ones who don't.
ENJOY LIFE NOW - IT HAS AN EXPIRATION DATE
May today be yet another blessed day for you INSYAALLAH, because Life is a gift after all.Read and think about it,i felt humbled after reading and reminding myself of what's written below:
LIFE IS A GIFT
Today before you say an unkind word – Think of someone who can’t speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food – Think of someone who has nothing to eat.

Today before you complain about life – Think of someone who went too early to heaven.

Before you complain about your husband or wife – Think of someone’s crying out to God for companion.

Before you complain about your children – Think of someone who desires children but they’re barren.

Before you argue about your dirty house, someone didn’t clean or sweep – Think of the people who are living in the streets.

Before whining about the distance you drive – Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet,

And when you are tired and complain about your job – Think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wished they had your job.

But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another – Remember that not one of us are without sin and we all answer to one maker.

And when the depressing thoughts seem to get you down – Put a smile on your face and thank God you’re alive and still around.

Life is a gift…Live it…Enjoy it…Celebrate it…And fulfil it... GOD BLESS INSYAALLAH

Friday, November 11, 2011

AN HISTORIC DATE 11/11/11

LOOKING BACK AT A MOMENT IN TIME AND PROBABLY WE WONT BE ABLE TO SEE THIS DATE IN FUTURE 11/11/11 AGAIN.
THE DAY STARTED AT 9.30 AM WHEN INA AND ME PICKING UP PEGGY AND WILLIAM FOR OUR DRIVE TO IPOH TO SENT THEM TO IPOH FOR THE NEXT PART OF THEIR VISIT AND WE HAD LUNCH AT IPOH AT THE FAMOUS PAKEEZAH RESTAURANT JOINED BY MY BROTHER TOMMY WHO WAS ALREADY IN IPOH SINCE YESTERDAY.
AFTER LUNCH THEY CHECKED IN AT IMPIANA AND AFTER BIDDING FAREWELL TILL WE MEET AGAIN WE DROVE HOME TO PENANG.SO THAT IS HOW WE SPEND OUR DAY ON THIS AUSPICIOUS 11/11/11.
ALHAMDULLILAH SYUKUR PADA ALLAH SWT ALL IS WELL.

WE HAD TANDOORI CHICKEN


OUR TABLE BEHIND THE GLASS PANEL


THE MAIN ENTRANCE PAKEEZAH


BRIYANI RICE

GARLIC NAAN

MY BROTHER AND ME HAD LUNCH IN PAKEEZAH RESTAURANT IPOH

THE FOUR OF US FROM PENANG TO IPOH TODAY JOINED BY TOMMY AND LUNCH AT PAKEEZAH RESTAURANT.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

COUSIN PEGGY AND WILLIAM VISIT TO PENANG

My cousin from Perth Peggy who was born here in Penang came over for a visit arriving here on Monday 7th NoV 2011,3days after my Operation and i was glad i am able to get out of hospital and be with her during her stay here.William our family friend also flew in from Seattle to join Peggy for the visit.Peggy and me share the same GRANDFATHER M.M NOORDIN OF PENANG.Peggy's mother Cik Rajah Noordin was my father's sister.I was happy that she could spend Hari Raya Qurban with us here in Penang. Below are photos taken at GOLDEN SANDS HOTEL BATU FERINGGI ON WEDNESDAY 9TH NOV2011.




(LTOR)ME,INA,WILLIAM,PEGGY


INA,WILLIAM,PEGGY


WILLIAM,PEGGY

Monday, November 7, 2011

Friday 4th of November 2011 Operation Day

CANNOT WAIT TO GO HOME

STILL OUT AFTER THE OPERATION.

Today at 1105am i checked in at Gleneagles hospital Penang,my laparoscoping Hernia operation was scheduled for 3pm.The doctor attending to me is DR VIMAL,The operation is expected to be around 1hr 30 mins,I was back in my ward room 303,at around 630pm.That night after the operation was a painful and restless night.The next day i was discharged at around 3pm and went home to recover as i find sleeping in my own bed was more comfortable than the hospital.,getting in and out of bed was a bit difficult,nevertheless manageable.I was actually walking slowly and managing myself despite feeling a little pain on my right side where the hernia was repaired.I am confident that i can start working on Tuesday 8th November 2011 although i wont be doing much just giving some pointers and directions to my new assistant undergoing on job training.I would like to thank all FAMILIES AND FRIENDS and well wishers for their prayers and doa and also the many many MANY emails and sms and there were heaps of it that i received from all over the world.ONCE AGAIN Thank You Thank You all,i really appreciate it.ALHAMDULLILAH SYUKUR PADA ALLAH SWT.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

OPERATION FOR INGUINAL HERNIA 4TH NOVEMBER2011

TO ALL MY DEAR FAMILY AND FRIENDS,I WILL BE UNDERGOING LAPAROSCOPIC SURGERY FOR INGUINAL HERNIA AT GLENEAGLES HOSPITAL PENANG SCHEDULED AT APPROXIMATELY 3PM. SURGERY BE DONE BY DR VIMAL.I WILL BE ADMITTED AT 11AM TOMORROW.I SHOULD BE OUT OF OPERATION BY 5PM 0R 6PM.ONCE AGAIN PLEASE SAY A DOA FOR ME AND INSYAALLAH I WILL BE ALRIGHT,IN MY LIFE I HAVE GONE THROUGH THE BIG C IN 2008 AND THE TREATMENT OF CHEMOTHERAPHY AND RADIATION,I THINK INSYAALLAH I CAN GO THROUGH THIS MINOR SETBACK ESPECIALLY WITH ALL THE DOA AND PRAYERS FROM MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS.WILL UPDATE WHEN ABLE INSYAALLAH.BELOW IS INFORMATION FOR THE OPERATION.

Approximately 600,000 hernia repair operations are performed annually in the United States. Many are performed by the conventional "open" method. Some are performed laparoscopically. Laparoscopic hernia repair is a relatively new surgical technique to fix tears in the abdominal wall (muscle) using small incisions, a patch (mesh), and special cameras to view inside the body. It frequently offers a more rapid recovery for the patient, less postoperative pain, and a quicker return to work and normal activities.
What is a Hernia?
A hernia is a defect in the abdominal wall, in which the inside layers of the abdominal muscle have weakened resulting in a bulge or tear. In the same way that an inner tube pushes through a damaged tire, the inner lining of the abdomen pushes through the weakened area of the abdominal wall to form a small bubble or balloon-like sac. When a loop of intestine or abdominal tissue pushes into the sac, severe pain and other potentially serious complications can result.
Both men and women can get a hernia. Some hernias are present at birth (congenital), while others develop over time. A hernia does not get better over time; a hernia will not go away by itself. Hernias most commonly occur in the groin ('inguinal hernias'), around the belly button ('umbilical hernias'), and near the site of a previous surgical operation ('incisional hernias').

How do I Know if I Have a Hernia?
Frequently, hernias are easily felt and diagnosed. You may notice a bulge under the skin. You may feel pain when you lift heavy objects, cough, strain during urination or bowel movements or during prolonged standing or sitting.
The pain may be sharp and immediate or a dull ache that gets worse toward the end of the day. Severe, continuous pain, redness and tenderness are signs that the hernia may be entrapped or strangulated. These symptoms are cause for concern and immediate contact of your physician or surgeon.

What causes hernias?
The wall of the abdomen has natural areas of potential weakness. Hernias can develop at these or other areas due to heavy strain on the abdominal wall, aging, injury, an old incision or a weakness in the abdominal wall present at birth. Anyone can get a hernia at any age. Most hernias in children are congenital. In adults, a natural weakness or strain from heavy lifting, persistent coughing, difficulty with bowel movements or urination can cause the abdominal wall to weaken or separate, and hernias to form.
Treatment Options:
There is no acceptable nonsurgical medical treatment for a hernia. The use of a truss (hernia belt) can help keep the hernia from bulging but eventually will fail. The truss also causes the formation of scar tissue around the hernia making the repair more difficult. If you suspect you have a hernia, consult with your physician or surgeon promptly. Delayed hernia repair can result in intestinal incarceration (intestine is trapped inside the hernia sac) or strangulation (intestine is trapped and develops gangrene). The latter is a surgical emergency.
The hernia will not go away without treatment; it will only get bigger. The bigger the defect the bigger the operation required to fix it.

Under certain circumstances the hernia may be watched and followed closely by a physician. These situations are unique to those individuals who are at high operative risks (i.e. those with severe heart or lung disease, or bleeding problems). Of course, even in the high risk person, if the symptoms become severe or if strangulation occurs, then an operation must be performed.

Surgical Repair
There are two main options for hernia repair:
Open Repair: The traditional, open repair has been the gold standard for over 100 years. There are 5-10 different approaches that are performed routinely with local and intravenous sedation. Due to the larger size of the incision, open hernia repair is generally painful with a relatively long recovery period.
Minimally Invasive (Laparoscopic) Repair: Minimally Invasive (Laparoscopic) Repair has been developed over the past decade. It is usually performed under general anesthesia but spinal anesthesia is also an option. Local anesthesia can be used under special circumstances.
Benefits of Minimally Invasive (Laparoscopic) Repair
shorter operative time
less pain
shorter recover period
Minimally Invasive (Laparoscopic) Hernia Repair
In laparoscopic hernia surgery, a telescope attached to a camera is inserted through a small incision that is made under the patient's belly button. Two other small cuts are made (each no larger than the diameter of pencil eraser) in the lower abdomen. The hernia defect is reinforced with a 'mesh' (synthetic material made from the same material that stitches are made from) and secured in position with stitches/staples/titanium tacks or tissue glue, depending on the preference of your individual surgeon.

Ventral Hernia Repair (Laparoscopic)

Incisional, Ventral, Epigastric, or Umbilical hernias are defects of the anterior abdominal wall. They may be congenital (umbilical hernia) or acquired (incisional). Incisional hernias form after surgery through the incision site or previous drain sites, or laparoscopic trocar insertion sites. Incisional hernias are reported to occur in approximately 4-10% of patients after open surgical procedures. Certain risk factors predispose patients to develop incisional hernias, such as obesity, diabetes, respiratory insufficiency ( lung disease), steroids, wound contamination, postoperative wound infection, smoking, inherited disorders such as Marfan's syndrome and Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, as well as poor surgical technique. Approximately 90,000-100,000 incisional hernia repairs are performed annually in the United States.

These hernias present much the same way inguinal hernias do. That is, they present with a bulge near or at a previous incision. Some patients may experience discomfort, abdominal cramping or complete intestinal obstruction, or incarceration as a result of these hernias.

The principle of surgical repair entails the use of prosthetic mesh to repair large defects in order to minimize tension on the repair. A tension free repair has a lesser chance of hernia recurrence. Traditionally, the old scar is incised and removed, and the entire length of the incision inspected. Generally, there are multiple hernia defects other than the one(s) discovered by physical examination. The area requiring coverage is usually large and requires much surgical dissection. A prosthetic mesh is used to cover the defect(s), and the wound closed. This is a major surgical procedure and often complicated. Infection rates following repair may be as high a 7.0%. Recurrence can be up to 5%, or higher, depending on the patient's preoperative risk factors. While the use of prosthetic mesh has decreased the number of recurrences, it has also been implicated in increased infection rates, adhesion or scar formation of the abdominal contents to the anterior abdominal wall leading to intestinal obstruction and fistula formation. However, overall, recovery is usually excellent and patients return to normal activity within a matter of weeks.

The laparoscopic repair of ventral hernias was designed to minimize operative trauma to the patient. As mentioned, these are often complicated repairs requiring large incisions and extensive tissue dissection. The principles governing a laparoscopic ventral hernia repair are based on those of open Stoppa ventral hernia repair. A large piece of prosthetic mesh is placed under the hernia defect with a wide margin of mesh outside the defect (see figure). The mesh is anchored in to place with eight full thickness sutures and secured to the anterior abdominal wall with a varying number of tacs, placed laparoscopically.

A patient is a candidate for laparoscopic incisional hernia repair if they are medically able to undergo general anesthesia. Also, the defect must "allow" the surgeon to place the laparoscopic trocars in such positions that repair are ergonomically possible. In some very large or giant hernias, the abdominal wall is distorted to such a degree that it is impossible to safely place laparoscopic trocars. Ancillary studies, such as CT scan of the abdomen and pelvis are helpful in making this decision. Patients are also given a bowel preparation to evacuate the colon and decrease the number of intestinal bacteria prior to surgery.

Patients are admitted the same day of their surgery. Following the procedure and recovery from anesthesia, they are taken to a hospital room where they spend the night. We encourage our patients to move as quickly as possible. It is extremely important to be active early in order to stave off some of the complication seen postoperatively, such as pneumonia, deep venous thrombosis and pulmonary embolism (clots in the legs that break off and go the lungs). Postoperative pain is variable, and can be considerable during the first 24 hours. As such, patients are given I.V. narcotics as needed, and are changed to oral analgesics the next day. Generally, most patients stay in the hospital 1 or 3 days following surgery. Patients are then seen, by the surgeon, one to two weeks after discharge. There is no dietary restriction. Activity level is restricted by the patient's comfort level. However, it is generally not advisable to engage in any strenuous exercise or heavy lifting for several weeks, to allow the hernia repair to heal.

Risks of Minimally Invasive (Laparoscopic) Hernia Surgery
Any operation may be associated with complications. The primary complications of any operation are bleeding and infection, which are uncommon with laparoscopic hernia repair.
There is a slight risk of injury to the urinary bladder, the intestines, blood vessels, nerves or the sperm tube going to the testicle.
Difficulty urinating after surgery is not unusual and may require a temporary tube into the urinary bladder.
Any time a hernia is repaired it can come back. This long-term recurrence rate is not yet known. Your surgeon will help you decide if the risks of laparoscopic hernia repair are less than the risks of leaving the condition untreated.
Is Everyone a Candidate for Laparoscopic Hernia Repair?
Only after a thorough examination can your surgeon determine whether laparoscopic hernia repair is right for you. The procedure may not be best for some patients who have had previous abdominal surgery or have underlying medical conditions.
What Happens if the Operation Cannot be Performed by the Laparoscopic Method?
In a small number of patients the laparoscopic method is not feasible because of an inability to visualize or manipulate the organs involved. Factors that may increase the possibility of converting to the "open" procedure may include obesity, a history of prior abdominal surgery causing dense scar tissue, or bleeding problems during the operation. The decision to perform the open procedure is a judgment decision made by your surgeon either before or during the actual operation. The decision to convert to an open procedure is strictly based on patient safety.

DOAKAN AND INSYAALLAH ALL WILL BE WELL.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

I AM NOT FEELING WELL

I AM NOT FEELING WELL AT ALL,I FEEL TIRED,VERY TIRED,I WILL BE GOING IN TO GLENEAGLES FOR A COMPLETE CHECK UP 2MORO,PRAY FOR ME.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

TO ALL MY SONS

ME oh how i wish i can turn back the clock.


I write this… as a father. Until you have a son of your own, you will never know what that means. You will never know the joy beyond joy, the love beyond feeling that resonates in the heart of a father as he looks upon his son. You will never know the sense of honor that makes a man want to be more than he is and to pass on something good and useful into the hands of his son. And you will never know the heartbreak of the fathers who are haunted by the personal demons that keep them from being the men they want their sons to see.
You will only see the man that stands before you, or who has left your life, who exerts a power over you – for good or for ill – that will never let go.
It’s a great privilege and a great burden to be that man. There is something that must be passed from father to son, or it is never passed as clearly. It is a sense of manhood, of self-worth, of responsibility to the world around us.
And yet, how to put it in words? We live in a time when it is hard to speak from the heart. Our lives are smothered by a thousand trivialities, and the poetry of our spirits is silenced by the thoughts and cares of daily affairs. The song that lives in our hearts, the song that we have waited to share, the song of being a man, is silent. We find ourselves full of advice but devoid of belief.
And so, I want to speak to you honestly. I do not have answers. But I do understand the questions. I see you struggling and discovering and striving upward, and I see myself reflected in your eyes and in your days. In some deep and fundamental way, I have been there and I want to share.
I, too, have learned to walk, to run, to fall.I have had a first love. I have known fear and anger and sadness. My heart has been broken and I have known moments when the hand of God seemed to be on my shoulder. I have wept tears of sorrow and tears of joy.
There have been times of darkness when I thought I would never see light again, and there have been times when I wanted to dance and sing and hug every person I met.
I have felt myself emptied into the mystery of the universe, and I have had moments when the smallest slight threw me into rage.
I have carried others when I barely had the strength to walk myself, and I have left others standing by the road with their hands outstretched for help.
Sometimes I feel I have done more than anyone can ask; other times I feel I am a weakling and a failure. I carry within me the spark of greatness and the darkness of heartless crimes.
In short, I am a man, as are you.
Although you will walk your own earth and move through your own time, the same sun will rise on you that rose on me, and the same reasons will course across your life as moved across mine. We will always be different, but we will always be the same.
This is my attempt to give you the lesson of my life, so that you can use them in yours. They are not meant to make you into me. It is my greatest joy to watch you turn into yourself. But time reveals truths, and these truths are greater than either of us. If I can give them a voice in a way that allows me to walk beside you during your days, then I will have done well.
To be your father is the greatest honor I have ever received. It allowed me to touch mystery for a moment, and to see my love made flesh. If I could but have one wish, it would be for you to pass that love along. After all, there is not much more to life than that.
Insya Allah I WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR ALL MY SONS NOW AND FOREVER.



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It is a wonderful feeling when your father becomes not a God but a man to you – when he comes down from the mountain and you see he’s this man with weaknesses. And you love him as this whole being, not as a figurehead.
- Robin Williams

I'd like to dedicate this post to my father who I affectionately call "Babak" arauh O.M. NOORDIN and to all the fathers I've known in my life so far…


.